


Really Big Fans

by Azei



Series: Godly Parenting 101 [4]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Action/Adventure, Amusement Parks, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cereal, Cheating, Cooking Lessons, Crack, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family, Family Bonding, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Issues, Family Secrets, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Half-Siblings, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Mood Swings, Old Married Couple, Percy Jackson Is SO Done, Protective Siblings, Pyromania, Romance, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Rivalry, Slice of Life, Tinder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 08:42:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17957288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azei/pseuds/Azei
Summary: He didn't know how he got here, honest. One moment his world was fine and the next it was like he was standing in front of Gaea herself without Riptide or his family and friends to back him up as they had in the war.





	Really Big Fans

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on me basically. I actually had to do this project last year and while going through my google slides, I came across it and remembered all the bullshit I pulled in order to make it seem like we were somewhat normal.

He didn't know how he got here, honest. One moment his world was fine and the next it was like he was standing in front of Gaea herself without Riptide or his family and friends to back him up as they had in the war.

So, how did he, Percy Jackson, find himself standing before the class of no more than 30 kids as Mrs. Davidson flicked her eyes between him and her rubric, her fingers clicking the pen as she essentially scowled at him from her spot behind her great wooden desk?

"Whenever you're ready Mr. Jackson, however, I should note that you must do this to get your credit and none of us are getting any younger."

Her words seemed to snap him back to reality as he glanced back at the powerpoint behind him, its blank screen glowing back at him as he gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing as he wiped his sweaty hands on the back of his cargo pants. He grabbed the remote and pressed the big red button that would start the whole presentation.

Normally, he would feel a sense of relief, finally managing to start his project and knowing it would go smoothly from there...but now? Now all he felt was a tenseness in his shoulders that had never existed before.

He supposed however, it had all started back in May, the month before when she had come into the class and announced what their IS would be for this year. Normally, he has no problem, but this is history and of course, she would pick family trees...

 

**-**

 

Blood rushed through his ears, a deafening sound that seemed to leave his ears ringing as he tried to stop his thoughts from pacing a million miles an hour to no avail. The blood in his veins froze as the words began to ring through his ears on a loop. He blinked, trying to get the spinning room to calm the fuck down as his stomach expelled a nauseous feeling throughout his body.

"A family tree?" he croaks out.

" Yes, next month, you're all to present your family history to the class. It is your IS, so if you have any hope of passing my class, you'll participate. Do I make myself clear, Mr. Jackson?"

"Crystal ma'am."

He was so ** _fucked_**.

 

**-**

 

"My name is Percy Jackson and this is my family tree."

 

**-**

 

**_So_ _**un** deniably fucked._ **

 

**-**

 

"Let's start with my mom's side. " Percy pressed a button and an image of his mom, Paul and himself a newborn Estelle. Immediately, one of his classmates raises his hands...Percy is sure his name is Chase or was it, Jerome? Bah, stupid dyslexia!

"Is that Mr. Blofis?" he asks in disbelief.

Mummers grow around the classroom and even Mrs. Davidson stands up straighter in her seat, her cold grey eyes flickering over to his step-dad's smiling face as a blush dusts her cheeks...ew, wasn't she married?

Percy rubs a hand behind his head as he grins sheepishly, "Uh, yeah, Paul's my step-dad. He married my mom a couple of years back and they had Estelle, my half-sister about a year back. My mom is Sally Jackson. She named my sister after my maternal grandmother in her memory, I never met my grandparents or my uncle Rich. They died before I was born."

"What about your father?" Mrs.Davidson cuts sharply and Percy bites back a groan.

He feigns surprise as he turns to her and puts on the most fake ass smile ever that even Hera would be impressed. "My dad?"

"Yes, you haven't even mentioned your paternal side. You have met them before right?"

**Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh si-**

" You could say that."

Instantly, his mind - _**that traitor**_ \- supplies a series of images, all involving asshole gods, life or death scenarios and messed up origin stories and Percy vaguely wonders how he hasn't gone insane yet.

"Let's start with your father then?"

"Sure. His name is Poseidon."

"Like the god?" someone interrupts.

"He's Greek."

"But I thought it was sacrilege to name your child after the gods thoug-"

"My grandparents are really big fans!"

 

**-**

 

"You look so much like your father, I just really miss him you know? My kids don't even visit me anymore and my grandkids only visit when they need something! I should've listened to mother!" she sobs into his orange camp shirt that she clung to when he first came to visit her.

"That's nice grandma, how's grandpa?"

Rhea waves her hand dismissively as she sniffles, "I'm not on speaking terms with your grandfather at the moment!"

"...that's too bad?"

"Did you know he had the gall to ask me why? _'But Rhea I don't understand what I did to upset you, my love!'_ He tried to kill you and all our other grandkids, **he should get the hint that maybe I'm a little upset!"**

"I see?"

" _ **OH GOD ITS LIKE THE DARK AGES ALL OVER AGAIN!**_ " she sobs.

 

**-**

 

"He's been married to my step-mom for a while and they have a couple of kids together. I haven't met all my older siblings, but I have most of them... they are interesting, to say the least."

 

**-**

 

"Hand him over Triton!"

"No! It's my turn to go on a ride with the demigod! We're gonna go on the rollercoaster of death!"

"No fair! I'm telling! **MOM!** Triton won't let me have the bastard demigod! It's my turn, dad said so! I wanna go ride the teacups!"

"...uhh, don't I have a say in this?"

**_"NO!"_ **

 

-

 

"My dad is one of 6 siblings."

"Oh, what are their names?"

"Zeus, Hades, Demeter, Hera, and Hestia...like I said, they were really big fans."

"Uncle Zeus is a bit..."

 

-

 

"And so you just do this and its all fixed. See, no big problem!"

"I thank you for your services nephew, now I shall try out this new smartphone and all its lovely little apps!"

"You're gonna get Tinder aren't you?"

"What? No! How dare you make such an accusation to my face? I should smite you where you stand you, insolent puny mortal!"

"Yeah yeah and if you do that WWIII will start when my dad finds out, look, I don't care what you do, but Hera better not find out it was me who got you the phone or I'll side with her this upcoming family feud."

"You wouldn't dare! This would upset the balance of family game night!"

"And yet, strangely, the threat works!"

 

**-**

"...dramatic. Aunt Hera, Aunt Demeter and Auntie Hestia...well they like teaching me how to cook family recipes..."

 

**-**

 

"Look at that Hera! He's skin and bones that one!"

"Well, then Demeter, what do you suggest?"

"Hera don-!"

"Cereal, the boy needs cereal. Grains, lots and lots of grains, did I ever tell you the time about when the rom-"

"Great going there, Aunt Hera!"

"Hush nephew or I'll send you back down to that dreadful Hospitality and Tourism class!"

"Fine, just don't make me go back. They don't teach us anything!"

"And that's why you're here learning to cook with us dear nephew!"

"Exactly! And the most important food group is grains!"

"Not this again!"

"Give it a break Demeter!"

"We came to save the boy from certain doom, not ensure his fate!"

"Hey! You take that back!"

"Auntie, should I just call Grandma now?"

"Yes, Percy, I believe that would be best."

"Nephew, don't you dare call her!"

"Oh, what's this? The mighty queen of Olympus scared of dear old mother!"

"Grandma, they're at it again! Could you come pick me up please?"

 

**-**

 

"And there's uncle Hades...he's a prison warden in California, so we don't talk much. But I get along with all my cousins. Then there's the twins! Apollo and Artemis!"

 

**-**

 

" **STAND STILL YOU MANWHORE SO I MAY STRIKE YOU WHERE YOU STAND!"**

" I _THOUGHT_ YOU **LOVED** ME! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?!"

"YOU AND HERMES STOLE MY CHARIOT!"

_"ALLEGEDLY!"_

"YOU CONTINUE TO CALL ME THE LITTLE SISTER EVEN THOUGHT I HELPED MOTHER WHILE SHE BIRTHED YOU!"

_"ALLEGEDLY!"_

"YOU FLIRTED WITH MY MAIDENS YOU ARSE!"

_**"SHIT! HERMES RUN!"** _

 

-

 

"And my cousins Ares."

 

-

 

" **Prissy**!"

"Does it just physically harm you and your kids not to be assholes?"

 

-

 

"And then my dad and cousin Athena kinda have a rivalry going on. Because of that some of my other cousins take it a bit extreme when they see Cousin Athena's kids...or any of my cousin's kids really..."

 

-

 

" **I WILL STRIKE YOU DOWN WHERE YOU STAND!** "

"HOORAH!"

"DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM, YOU GUYS!"

 

-

 

"And then my other cousins seem to think everyone needs a makeover and regularly raid my closet to replace it from the horrors I apparently have in there..."

 

-

 

"Wake up!"

"AHH!"

"Piper! What the hell are you guys doing in here? It's like 3:00 AM!"

"Ladies, file through. Squad 1, raid the closet. Squad 2, help them and bring the hazmat suits while you're at it."

"Yes, ma'am!"

" Squad 3, wash the male."

"Aye aye!"

"Hey! No-, what are you doing? Let go of me! **PIPER!** "

 

-

 

"Cousin Diyonsis really likes wine...he runs a winery...but right now he's in a self-help group. 8 years sober, his goal is 10."

 

-

 

**"I NEED IT! JUST ONE SIP!"**

"NO DIYONSIS! RESIST THE TEMPTATION! SOMEONE STOP HIM!"

**"JUST ONE CHIRON! _JUST ONE!_ "**

"ITS BEEN OVER 80 YEARS! YOU'RE DOING SO WELL! YOU CAN BEAT THIS! **I BELIEVE IN YOU, BUDDY!** " **  
**

 

**-**

"And cousin Hermes...he's a postman..."

 

**-**

 

"MARTHA I THOUGHT YOU SAID LEFT!"

"NOT YOUR LEFT! GEORGE'S LEFT!"

"HOW **COULD** I POSSIBLY KNOW THAT!"

"ARE YOU A GOD OR NOT MAN?"

"OH SHUT IT GEORGE!"

 

**-**

 

"Cousin Hephatatus works as a mechanic...I'm pretty sure he's a pyromaniac..."

 

**-**

 

" _AND I SET FIRE TO THE RAIN! WATCHED IT POUR AS I TOUCHED YOUR FACE!"_

"Heph, you okay there buddy?"

 

-

 

"And then my great grandma...Gaea, she's a little out of it now..."

 

-

 

"Percy Jackson, my darling grandson! Look at how you've grown!"

"Wasn't she trying to murder us last year?"

"Son, your great grandmother is getting on in life and sometimes she has... mood swings."

"So what, she's going through menopause or something?"

"I don't know! Don't ask me, I'm just as clueless and when mother said to drop it and accept the explanation, I wasn't gonna argue!"

"Is Poseidon, Almighty King of the Seven Sea, afraid of his mother?" Athena teased.

"Have you seen what happened to Zeus when he talked back to her during our last council meeting? He's still eating through an IV bag!"

 

-

 

"Regardless, they're my family and I love them all. Any questions?"

 

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so please note that for me I’ve noticed a problem with the series in which I can’t use the continue with series button from this work to the next but when I start on the next work, I can go backwards so I don’t know what’s wrong with it. I’m sorry if this is an inconvenience, I’m going to try and contact support to try to fix it


End file.
